Lansley, Tosser

I was going to try my best today to write about something other than Andrew Lansley and the NHS but its very difficult. I hate very much that such a loathsome man has taken over not only this week’s blogs but generally much of my thinking for the past week. It’s reached such an extent that last night I was seconds away from turning off Toy Story 3 (an amazing film. Except for the bit where they meet the Sex Toys) ten minutes before the end – you know, when it gets actually properly heart renting and sad? – just to watch that evil man, who’s hair looks like its been superimposed onto his head, squirm around trying to defend his frankly destructive bill. I didn’t stop the film you’ll be glad to hear, and Nat, L and I were all subject to a soaked face replete with pangs for our childhood playthings.

Question Time was amazing though. The audience were so very passionate about the NHS, Phil Hammond was brilliantly brutal at dealing with Lansley and Ken made me wonder how we ever let Boris become London mayor. All the while Mark Littlewood said obnoxious things whilst looking like Hitler and Sarah Sands showed why the Evening Standard is a shit paper. Most importantly, I enjoyed watching Lansley not make eye contact with anyone who asked him questions about the reform. I really enjoyed him making statements that made little sense – telling Phil Hammond, a doctor, that he’s not trusting doctors. Brilliant – followed by him stating that the UK is a great place to work. How dare he promote employment here in a country that has currently got the highest unemployment rate in 17 years? Has he no grounding in reality?

Judging by his plans to curb British obesity that were revealed yesterday, no. The strategy apparently is to ‘eat less, exercise more’. Well done Columbo. Any other horribly obvious plans you want to tell us? Why not tell us that the best way to stop fires is to ‘not set fire to things’ or have we tried ‘sleeping’ to stop tiredness?’ Eating less and exercising more is the best way to stop obesity, granted, but surely more effort should be placed in educating children how best to have a balanced diet and perhaps tackle those big companies that plough fat into their food? Sure Lansley claims they are aiming to reduce calories in their products but that’s not what will help. We need to stop the amount of processed foods available full stop. People need to know what else there is available. But will a Health Secretary who had help writing his health legislation from representatives from McDonalds, Unilever, Walkers and Pepsi do such a thing? No. Because much like with the NHS, he prefers the big companies filling his wallet at the expense of the public.

ANDREW LANSLEY BANKROLLED BY PRIVATE SECTOR

MCDONALDS AND PEPSICO TO HELP WRITE HEALTH LEGISLATION

Even Jamie Oliver has dismissed yesterday’s obesity plans by saying that there are ‘eight-year-olds with more creative solutions to these problems.’ And that’s a man who ensured I never watch him on television again after he used the term ‘easy cheesy.’ I’m just saying. Ultimately its very clear that Andrew Lansley is a man who has very little idea or infact care of what the people of Britain need or want. The NHS bill not only needs to be stopped, but it needs to be stopped in a way that means Lansley has to step down and we get someone who perhaps cares about people’s health not the healthy state of their own bank account.

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NHS / Bits On The Side

MORE NHS

Right, look I know I’ve been going on about this every single day for the last week, but its a subject quite close to my heart. If I had any problems with that heart it would be even closer. The NHS bill may get passed today. I’m honestly not sure to what extent, as after watching some of the Lords debate it appears that there are just as many Lords saying how disgusting the proposed changes are, as there are Lords who have a financial investment in a medical company that would benefit from privatisation.

NHS REFORMS D-DAY ARTICLE 

Yes, I’ve linked to the Mirror. That’s how bad things are. Even a paper that has a moral high ground lower than the Low End Theory being listened to in a pit, realises that what’s happening is bad for everyone. Sorry, not everyone. The rich, once again, escape unscathed. Even if they were scathed, I’m sure their private healthcare will sort those scathings out rather quickly at a high cost. So, look, I’m not going to harp on anymore about why the NHS are amazing – in fact Nathaniel Tapley did a blog that says it much better than I ever could:

NATHANIEL TAPLEY – SAVE THE NHS

Nor am I going to go through all the indiscretions in the bill that absolve Parliament of any blame or responsibility over what will happen. Instead, all I will rant about is my inability to understand the people that don’t see why this is wrong. I’m not talking about those who have financial interest in this reform going ahead. I have a feeling many of them can see why its wrong but much like the effects of the ring in Tolkien’s saga, their money possibilities have twisted them to a level of enjoying the schadenfraude of other’s suffering. Maybe. Even if it hasn’t, imagine it has. It just makes them more loathsome. The people I’m talking about are those who don’t seem to care or mind that it’s happening. This is the country’s healthcare system. If it goes to shit because of Andrew Lansley, we are going to suddenly find ourselves with a lot of people unable to afford to keep themselves alive due to medical costs. How is that remotely right? How can you put a price on life? Unless you’re a bounty hunter?

I honestly can’t get it round my head why someone wouldn’t just sign THIS or didn’t want to come on Sunday or even just doesn’t care at all what happens. Sure you can ignore youth services closing if you’re too young or old for that to be an issue, sure you evade any care about prison sentencing, libraries, education or social care if none of those things affect you in your little haven in a village somewhere. But even if every other area of cuts doesn’t have any inkling on your life in any way, then surely the NHS does? Surely you’ve needed healthcare at some point in your life and not even spared a thought for the costs of your anti-biotics/ intensive surgery/ defibrillator use? And it doesn’t bother you that next time that happens, if it happens and ill health happens to the best of us, you’d have to lay out your already debt ridden credit card before they even think about handing over the nebulizer?

If that really doesn’t bother you, if I’m accidentally blogging to invincible readers then I’m sorry. If not, then all you have to do is sign the petition I put above. That’s it. Sure it might not stop things but it puts wheels in motion to show people give a shit about staying alive. Hopefully this bill will only pass with severe examination and changes and prove that we can make a small difference. Then when the Tories attempt another go at really hurting the British people, we might have a bit more of a united front against it. Fingers crossed. Right that’s all my steam released. Releasing steam? Hmm. That’s not right. Maybe I should go see a doctor while I still can…..

 

BB BOTS

In opposition to everything I’ve written above, I’m going to be on Big Brother’s Bit On The Side tonight. Yes, I know beloved fans. One moment I’m doing a protest gig to save a national institution and the next I’m on 5* harping on about which bellend should be evicted from a bunch of bellends. I’m going from condemning big brother to supporting Big Brother. Amazing huh? To be fair, I’m really looking forward to it. I’m on with Shola Ama – remember her? She did that one song. You know that one about needing somebody? Needing somebody to buy her records? Yeah. No, she’s done nothing since – and that one from ‘How Clean Is Your House?’ who I expect to mop the floor with. Arf. I don’t. She seems nice.

I have no idea what I’ll be doing on it, but expect some banter from me about the exploits of all the housemates and I will attempt at some point to say that Anton ‘couldn’t intellectually defeat a cupcake’. I’m not sure why. I’d just like to say it. Keep your peepers peeled at 11pm on 5* for my fizzog. Ta.

Planet Saving For Dummies

Sometimes its very easy to get disheartened with comedy and the world in general. Yesterday was one of those days that fully reaffirmed my faith in both. The Block The Bill, Block The Bridge demonstration yesterday, as organised by UK Uncut was a lovely sunny afternoon of very civil disobedience and one of the nicest afternoons I’ve had in 2011. Thousands of people turned up to show just how much they care about the most important institution in the UK, the NHS, and as Big Ben struck 1, it was an incredible sight to see the bridge amass with people playing dead. There was music, brilliant artwork, interesting people and I got to meet Chris Morris which nearly sent me into babbling mess. Despite a police presence there was no trouble at all, and the whole event, if nothing else, should show that we can stand-up to the misdemeanours of our government without fear of kettling or violence from the authorities. This shows we can do this again, and again and more and more people can join as is our right to be outspoken about the outcome of our country.

PANORAMIC VIEW OF THE BRIDGE

I was there as part of Comedy Block, a show to be performed on the bridge as part of the event. Initially it was to start at 1.30pm but due to a lack of sound system it seemed as though all proceedings would have to be called off, until around 3pm a bicycle powered sound system was discovered. With a variety of lovely volunteers pedalling away (the sound disappearing every time they slowed down or swapped) we finally kicked off and 8 acts, with Chris Coltrane hosting, performed for what was about 800-900 happy protestors. Going on first, and nervous about material I’d written that morning about Andrew Lansley, the show was a dream. Sure we were preaching to the converted – no one at that gig was going to heckle when we were all there for the same reasons – but the rush of performing as part of something that meant something was incredible.

I’d been feeling a tad lost since Edinburgh. After performing an hour show everyday that was based on my personal despair at this country’s current situation, to then suddenly go back to the clubs where political material isn’t what the stag and hen do’s want on a Friday after work, is a bit disheartening. Yet you can’t stop doing those gigs as they pay. I had found myself feeling a bit fed up with it all. Then yesterday changed that and fully made me realise why comedy is brilliant. Performing in front of such an amazing crowd, saying jokes that had a point of view behind them, and purpose and then watching acts such as Josie Long, Mark Thomas, Nat Tapley and more do the same, really made me realise what you can do as a performer. I realise that the high horse might well be back again for me to climb on board, but having the confidence and ability to write jokes that will both make people laugh and maybe encourage them to do more is one of the best feelings in the world. Just having a reason to be part of something that may (and I sadly don’t think it will) make a difference to the bill on Tuesday makes it feel like its worth it.

MY SET AT THE BLOCK THE BILL, BLOCK THE BRIDGE PROTEST

 

I’m not saying you have to do stand-up to make a difference. Everyone there yesterday did it in their own way. Some made banners, some brought instruments, some were just there, and believe me, that’s enough. The protest made its way onto most news outlets (BBC being the slowest and nearest to making derogatory remarks as per usual), which meant people know there is opposition to the bill. That’s all we need to do. Let everyone, especially parliament know we aren’t happy with the destruction of the NHS – something Cameron promised he wouldn’t let happen and once again lied. If you care, then next time remember that there are never ‘enough people going already’. Just rock up, have a great afternoon watching comedy and do so knowing that you are helping change the UK.

 

Lastly, I met someone on the bridge yesterday that was explaining that as the bill is likely to go through, the best we can hope for is that the Lords let it be examined by a special commission. This would mean it isn’t just sent back to the Commons unchanged, but nor are the most destructive parts just overlooked. We only have a day to make any difference so I will post her email, pretty much word for word, below. Please take note and if nothing else, take two minutes out to email a Lord with your requests. Yes it looks like a lot of info but have a read and then you can make it all easier by choosing which Lord to email by using this site:

CONTACT A LORD

Here’s the emails:

 

Hello again, 

It was really good to meet you today.

 

A quick summary of why it’s so important to draw people’s attention to the Hennessy / Owen amendments is at the end of this email.

 

Emails to members of the House of Lords can be short. Something like:

 

Subject: Please support Hennessy & Owen’s amendments in full

 

Dear…,

 

Please support the amendments to the Health and Social Care Bill tabled by Lords Hennessy and Owen. Their proposal offers a way out of the current deadlock for all concerned. It will allow the Bill to continue its passage through Parliament, whilst the most high risk, controversial parts will be referred to a Select Committee for further consideration by the legal and medical experts in the House. As a result, the NHS will be able to get on with its work, Lansley will get his legislation and those opposing the Bill will finally have their concerns properly addressed. This proposal will not stop the progress of this Bill but it will ensure that when it becomes law, it is not toxic to the NHS.

 

Yours sincerely,

…

 

Email addresses are in the attached excel sheet. Where there isn’t an address, click the link and it will take you directly to the relevant page for emailing them via the web.

 

Short, personal emails are most effective. It would help to say things like ‘I’m writing to you because I know you have an interest in health and also law’ but it isn’t essential [details of the Peers are in the excel].

 

The debate is on Tuesday – the actual vote is Wednesday afternoon.

 

Please pass this on as widely as possible – Labour have agreed to vote in favour of the proposal but we need to convince 80 Bishops, and Crossbench and Lib-Dem Peers to vote in favour too.

 

Why the Hennessy / Owen amendments are so important:

 

Ø  On Tuesday, the Lords will decide whether they are going to vote the Health and Social Care Bill out completely [extremely unlikely] or whether they will proceed with it.

Ø  If they don’t vote it out, it will be debated in the House of Lords.

Ø  Ideally, the Bill would be referred to a Select Committee: a sub-group of the Lords including medical and legal experts who would have as much time as they need to properly address the concerns about the Bill.

Ø  However, it’s very rare for a Select Committee to be set up – and it isn’t going to happen here.

Ø  So all members of the House of Lords will have the opportunity to take part in the debate. Which means the time available will be limited and the debate will be pretty superficial – as it was in the Commons.

Ø  Lords Peter Hennessy and David Owen are proposing an alternative.

Ø  They are suggesting that part of the Bill is discussed, as usual, by the whole House. In reality that part it will become law fairly soon.

Ø  But the most risky, controversial parts would be referred to a Select Committee [I can send details if you want to know more].

Ø  This is not a perfect solution but it’s the best option we have. Unless this happens, there is very high likelihood that the Bill will become law with its most dangerous aspects still largely intact.

Ø  David Owen has been way ahead of everyone in his understanding of this Bill. He predicted months ago that the Bill would get through the Commons largely unaltered. It did. He immediately recognised the significance of removing the legal duty on the Secretary of State to provide health services in England. This is now widely recognised as a central concern. He understands that this Bill is still, in effect, a proposal to abolish the NHS.

Ø  The Hennessy / Owen amendments are qualitatively different to the other amendments tabled for discussion in the Lords on Tuesday. They are not proposing specific changes to the Bill. Instead they are providing a way of ensuring the worst of the Bill is properly examined and the necessary changes made before it becomes law.

Ø  Unfortunately, it is taking too long for members of the House of Lords to realise the importance of this proposal.

Ø  The government realises. Which is why senior members of government are currently doing everything possible to persuade the Lords not support this proposal. Yet again they are saying they will amend the Bill to ensure the outstanding concerns are addressed.

Ø  Meanwhile, Lansley has been boasting in meetings that the Bill is a done deal and that the fundamental aspects of the Bill remain unaltered.

And email two:

The link to the Keep Our NHS Public [KONP] website is: http://www.keepournhspublic.com/index.php
but there isn’t specific information about the Hennessy / Owen amendments on there as they were only tabled last Tuesday. But KONP is supporting this proposal.
A good example of what we’re worried about is the current story about the GP practice in York who sent letters out to their patients saying that certain services were no longer available on the NHS and telling them where they could buy these treatments privately. One of the companies they suggested was owned by them [http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/oct/04/nhs-charging-operations-york?newsfeed=true]. People might say ‘That’s OK it’s only ingrowing toe nails – why shouldn’t we pay for that sort of thing?’ The problem that this is just a start:
- decisions about what is and isn’t available on the NHS will be made locally [so there will be huge variation];
- patients will have to pay for health care [or go without];
- there will be conflicts of interest [these GPs stand to benefit personally];
- there will be issues about how patients’ information is passed onto;
- there will be limits to how much we can find out about private companies through the freedom of information act [www.cfoi.org.uk/foi060911pr.html];
- these changes haven’t been made law but are already happening…
An example of how health care in the UK is big business – and of how multinationals for example are set to take over large chunks of the NHS – can be found on the Spinwatch website. The government has been in talks with a German company about the take over of up to 20 hospitals:
The Bill also makes it possible for NHS property to be transferred to the NHS: http://www.dutytoprovide.net/
In short…If the Government’s proposed changes go ahead, “private companies would be entitled to run much of the NHS” and “market forces would determine the way many health services are provided”http://www.dutytoprovide.net/2011/08/27/the-stage-is-set-for-market-forces-to-dictate-the-nhs-despite-recent-assurances-from-the-department-of-health/.
A book worth reading is Deadly Spin by Wendell Potter, who used to work for the private health insurance business in the US. It explains how, once the private health industry gets hold of the NHS, it’s not going to be possible to make it let go again.
The book everyone should read is NHS Plc by Allyson Pollack which explains how we came to be on the brink of losing the NHS to a commercial, American-style system of health-care.
I attended a conference recently at which Lansley spoke. He said he believes, as Machiavelli did, that ‘when you propose a change, everyone will disagree with you’. Therefore ‘you have to do it quickly’.  He said he came into the job with a vision and that he is still convinced he’s right. He’s has, he said, been working on this Bill for 8 years [in fact he laid out his principles for the NHS in a speech in 2005 - these now form the framework for the current Bill: www.andrewlansley.co.uk/newsevent.php?newseventid=21]. Apparently Lansley sees himself as the modern equivalent of John Snow, the nineteenth century hero of public health. Sadly, wanting to be John Snow is not the same as being John Snow. He actually has more in common with his other hero Machiavelli -  he clearly seems to feel morally justified in achieving his goals by any means necessary. So far he has out-manoeuvred us all. I sincerely believe that only this proposal by Peter Hennessy and David Owen will stop the complete dismantling of the legal framework that’s protected the NHS to date. But they need our help…

Block The Bridge

A very short blog today as I’m off to this:

BLOCK THE BRIDGE

Which is one of the most important protests you could possibly attend. I’m meant to be doing stand-up there today but I’m really struggling to find humour in the notion of the NHS being destroyed in place of a privatised system that the government have no accountability for. I ranted about such things only the other day (see National Health Disservice ) but since then I’ve got slightly more clued up on how preposterous the entire situation is. Have a read of this:

POLLY TOYNBEE ARTICLE

Yes, I know there is a lot of reading to do today but trust me, if you care about your own health and live in the UK, let alone caring about the health of anyone else in the UK, then you shouldn’t hesitate to cram some knowledge cookies down your brainbox. The more people know about this, the less the government can get away with it. There are so many clauses since the bill’s amendment in the Spring that haven’t been checked and will now not be checked in time before the bill is passed that we could essentially let something slide that has points 1-600 saying ‘ everyone ill over the age of 65 will be turned into Soylent Green’.

Without meaning to repeat myself from previous blogs, but the notion that the Care Quality Commision will be so overrun with applications that unqualified people will be tampering with my body is terrifying. Sure unqualified people have tampered with my body before, but I was usually drunk and at least a little bit attracted to them. A little bit. My concern is that I’ll go to my Opthamologists to find an Apple ‘i’ doctor ready with a spoon and a maglite as he fancied a job change. I don’t want my diabetic specialists replaced with a representative from Mars Incorporated who insist that one of their products a day will help me work, rest and play whilst keeping quiet its part of their own tests to see how ill the bars make Type 1 sufferers. I definitely don’t want my podiatrist being replaced with someone from Nike, knowing full well all their recommendations require me buying expensive trainers. Yes it’s an exaggerated view, but imagine your hospitals budget being run miles away by a company that couldn’t give a shit if you live or die, and more whether its drugs are being sold in the fuckton and how their annual figures are. Scary huh?

My only plan is that if this bill is passed, we should all save whatever pennies we have and find the private hospitals that Cameron & Lansley use, all subscribe to their services for at least a month and consistently clog up the service with the most minor of ailment complaints to show those elitist arseholes what happens to a system when its oversubscribed and not cared for. Then I’m going to register as a ‘surgeon’ and keep praying they have an accident.

You should go today. If you’re not going then at least do this:

CONTACT A LORD

We have to stop this happening. End of argument.

 

NB. If you are a reader from abroad, apologies for these constant UK based blogs, but hopefully it’ll either help you to stop such things from happening where you are, or perhaps if you already live in a society without a national health service, you can inform those you know in the UK of just what its like having a cost on your lives.

 

National Health Disservice

I have accidentally made too much popcorn. Unpopped corn appears to be one of those unquantifiable solids in the universe. Sure I’ve got to ‘put enough kernels to cover the bottom of the pan’ but we all know that’s never enough, but as soon as you add even one more kernel than that to the mix, suddenly they’ve bred like Gremlins at a Volvic factory and you have all the corn in the world, as though Odeon have decided to ambush you. There are certain substances that exist like this. Muesli is another one. No matter how much muesli you put in your bowl, its always too much. Two teaspoons? Yeah, I want two teaspoons of muesli. Add milk, then suddenly, six VATS of muesli have flooded your kitchen and you have to hire a field of horses to eat their way through it. I bet horses eat muesli. They look like they do. Anyway, scientists should really look into how this occurs to create a similar effect with money or Xbox games and then save the planet. Though I’m sure instead the secret would end up in the hands of evil and we’d find that countries besieged with war would suddenly have thousands of casualties of muesli flooding or perhaps houses filled with popcorn bombs that overfill the house till it bursts from the inside out. These are the sorts of things I am usually concerned about.

Another thing I am very concerned about is what’s going to happen to the NHS. I know. You didn’t even see that link coming? Slick wasn’t it? Read it back, enjoy it. Try and work out how it really doesn’t work and yet it does. Much like the popcorn mystery. Ooh another link! So yes, as I was saying (I wasn’t. I was typing. I don’t say the words out aloud as I input them). It amazes me that even after several hundred healthcare professionals have stated that the NHS changes will cause ‘irreparable damage’ that the government still aren’t considering a U-turn on its action to change the infrastructure that’s worked for so long. If anyone knows about the ‘if it ain’t broke’ stratagem, its the NHS, being that they wouldn’t fix a bone on a patient for the sake of it. Sure its not the most perfect system in the world, but its largely only got worse due to cuts in funding and ridiculous high costs and taxes on medical supplies. It is and has been one of the UK’s most important public services, if not the most important public service since its creation in 1944.

I happily moan about the NHS on a regular basis. My local hospital, The Whittington, is on my phone as ‘The Shittington’. This makes me chuckle in a childish manner every time they call and once booking an appointment in, I will tell anyone I can how long I’ll have to wait when I get there and how it’ll take up my whole day just so a doctor can say ‘come back in 8 months.’ Thing is, its really not very bad. As a type 1 insulin diabetic I have received treatment and care that by now, under a privatised system, would have cost hundreds and hundreds of thousands. Either that or I’d only be able to eat cucumber all day every day and trust me, that’d get wearing. Though I would be thinner. And have lovely skin. Hmm. Er, anyway, I wouldn’t have my diabetic pump right now that saves me injecting 5 times a day – I was genuinely getting worried I’d drink water and it’d pour out of me like a sprinkler system – and has given me the best control of my blood sugar levels since I stopped letting my parents be in charge of my health (this wasn’t as long ago as you’d think considering I rang my dad only yesterday to ask abut my headaches).

It does work, and it’d work better if the government put funding into the right areas. GPs shouldn’t be allowed to have management over the money of our health service. In all my years of diabetes (26 now, should you ask) a GP has only ever referred me to a doctor at a hospital to be dealt with if its anything more than a flu. Even flu has required them sifting through books and manuals to find what it is, rather than knowing. Even worse was my last GP who spent ages trying to fob off different tablets at me ‘for my blood sugars’ only for my hospital doctor to tell me that they should only be prescribed to Asian men over the age of 45 and that I should never ever have been taking them! Turned out my GP would get a bonus every time he prescribed such drugs and I knew then that my health was secondary to his pay check. To think that there are GPs out there – and by no means do I mean all of them. My current one is awesome – that will be using the budget they are given for purposes that aren’t in patients interests, is worrying.

Health professionals know what they are talking about when it comes to healthcare. That’s why they are health professionals. I know this doesn’t resonate with Andrew Lansley considering that representatives from Unilever, McDonalds, Walkers crips and Pepsi have all helped input into the health legislation. If anything it seems he’ll only do the exact opposite of what’s necessary to keep this country’s health in good condition. Considering people will start being too poor to eat well, or afford the gym or other ‘luxuries’ anytime soon, surely it should be a priority? Of course its not though, as money comes first. I really hope Andrew Lansley considers a similar ignorance of healthcare professionals should he get very ill.

Rant over. I’ll continue eating my mountain of popcorn now thinking about the world’s wrongs. Should you want to do your bit to save the NHS, you could attend this which should be excellent:

BLOCK THE BRIDGE – UK UNCUT